minttown1

I guess my biggest problem with Carolina's being Leonard and Allison's daughter is that it doesn't fit with my image of the Director. I assumed they never had a child, or that their child had died (headcanon was that Allison was pregnant with a son, felt ambivalent about continuing the pregnancy, and died before she had to decide), and that was why the Director was the way he was with her memory: because it was all he had left. But having a beautiful, smart daughter who needed him all those years, who was a piece of his lost love, it makes his obsession with his dead girlfriend make less sense to me.

idk. Director, why so crazy.

But I spent a fair amount of time thinking about this over the weekend, because my mind wanders, and I think this is what I came up with: that consciously, at least, the Director wasn't obsessive about Allison this way until Tex came into existence. Tex's existence forced it all to the front. It was one thing when Allison was gone, but when some approximation of her returned... The Director was never happy with Tex, because she wasn't Allison. He didn't intend to create her, but once she was there and imperfect, he needed to get Allison right. Tex was some twisted memory, but she was parts of Allison -- she wasn't simply a shadow, because she was Tex; but of Allison, she really was only a shadow -- and being that close to having her back, he couldn't let go until he got her right. And he never could.

It forever breaks my heart, that quote from season eight about the Director and Tex: "She died in her real life, and that's all the Director ever remembered of her. So now, no matter how tough she is, no matter how hard she fights, she's always going to fail, because that's what she's based on. No matter what she's doing, or what she's trying to accomplish, just when her goal is within her reach, it gets yanked away. Every. Single. Time. Can you imagine what that's like?"

Tex never had a chance. I'm not sure anyone who came within a hundred yards of the Director ever did.

Excuse me while I go have great big metaphorical tears of sadness over this dumb show. Easier than having emotions about real life.

p.s. I really want fic about Carolina using Tucker for sex, because I'm not always a nice person when it comes to fiction. I don't really think Tucker would mind, though.