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minttown1Thursday's episode of Elementary is really upsetting me because everyone is being mean to Joan. So I'm gonna sit here and watch her prove her detractors wrong. (I'm not cutting this for spoilers because it's, like, every episode anyway.) Joan Watson is my tell-everyone-to-stfu-and-stfd-spiration.
"House of Greed." My prediction based on the title: an entire episode about assface Jerome proving why he totally deserves a sinner's sarcophagus.
When last we left our not-all-that-reluctant heroes, four of them were chilling at Sibuna HQ, watching the fifth trying to get herself killed sneaking around the Team Evil HQ because she just can't accept that she could share blood with evil. (FYI, KT, you get used to the idea eventually. It's no reflection on you.)
omg, Denby, those pants. No.
Ha, they all come running after KT to ask what she was thinking, why was she in the gate house, etc., and Alfie busts out with, "Why were you chilling with the zombies?!"
And then Sibuna all walk off with their arms around each other. Because it's cold, but still. Cuddle bug Sibunas. <3 ALSO. Eddie has his hand on KT's back, but he has his arm around Patricia to do it, and why can't they just reconcile? :( He'll drop the whole foot rub thing, Yakker, he promises, and even the penis thing is negotiable. (Fact: Back in late 2008 or early 2009, I had a guy ask me out and tell me that if his being a man was why I didn't want to date him, we could just skip past all that heterosexual sex stuff. I like to think Eddie would also make this sacrifice, if required.)
Frombie Zombie Smythe: "I have hardly left this awful house."
Denby: "'Awful'?" She looks genuinely hurt, lol.
Jerome, singing: "I can't help to be smitten / You're my love kitten."
Dude, this is going to humiliate him, but he has this coming.
Jerome in his cat costume. Jesus. He spins around and his tail does this thing.
p.s. Do you think that's Fabian's guitar?
Oh god, the girls passed out a spreadsheet about all of his flaws.
The song had some decent rhymes, at least.
"Love Kitten"
Baby, baby, you're a cat
But you've got to know you're more than that
You're the kibble to my tummy
The cream to my bowl
You're my little fuzzy honey
The meaning to my soul
I can't help but to be smitten
You're my one and only loooooooooove kitten
Ha, Joy standing behind Jerome mouthing along with Mara telling him that they're so over.
Eddie: "Stay here."
Patricia: "Really?"
Eddie: "If anything bad happens, I need someone outside I can trust. *touches her shoulder* Okay?"
She smiles.
jkasdjkas kiss him. :(
KT: "I know Denby would do this, but he's my great-grandfather. How could he do that to me?"
Because your family connection means absolutely nothing, you irrational twit!
Patricia: "Considering you're such a great friend of his, maybe you can find out how he feels about me?"
KT: "I thought you weren't into him?"
Patricia: "Well, I lied."
FUCKING FINALLY.
That's right, real Harriet, you defend yourself with that spoon. :'(
Oh no, Eddie, KT meant Patricia, not herself. :( And now Patricia's gonna think Eddie doesn't love her back oh no. And Trixie will be so sad because she put herself out there! Can't with the feelings.
So, evil Frobisher is going to torment Victor, and that makes me super sad because alive Frobisher was one of the few people to ever show him kindness.
KT wants Patricia to use Jerome to make Eddie jealous to get him back. jkasjdklas Patrome.
I just want everyone to know how much I enjoy the teen sitcom plots mixed in with the ancient conspiracies.
Mara: "Because, if you ignore the fact that you [Joy and Jerome] hate each other, you're actually perfect for each other."
Joy: *hits her* "Take that back! You're so mean."
Ha, KT says that it would be wrong to use a guy like this if he weren't a fuckface like Jerome.
KT didn't say fuckface, but I forget how she worded it. "The biggest rat in school." Close enough.
Patricia: "So, do you want to go out on a date with me or what?"
Jerome: "I'm going to have to go with 'or what.'"
Patricia: "Why?"
Jerome: "Because you're as rude as I am, and, while I have no proof, I'm pretty sure you're a witch." He doesn't blink during this line, fyi.
Patricia: "Wow! You're actually scared of me. Okay. Forget it. I don't want to go out with a wimp anyway."
Jerome: "Hang on! Hang on. Okay. Yeah. It's a date."
Patricia: "Great!"
Hahaha, his body language, he'd fall over if he leaned any farther away.
Okay, look. I want Patricia back with Eddie, and I assume that's inevitable from a storytelling endgame point of view, but I would also be 110% fine with Patricia and Jerome realizing they fucking belong together. Season one-point-five OT fucking P, etc., all my feels and hearts.
Frobie: "I see you crave recognition for your service."
Victor: "I think I have earned it."
Plus he's got massive daddy issues, Frobie, you better stroke his ego.
Oh no, Victor's sinner #1! :O He's the one being tagged for greed. Oh, holy shit, I seriously didn't see this coming. Now who's going to fix the broken plumbing at Anubis House? :(
Guys, I know I drop the f-bomb about twenty times per episode recap, but this show inspires so many feelings in me, I really can't help it.
p.s. Only eight episodes left this season. Maybe only eight episodes left ever. My heart can't take it.
"House of Greed." My prediction based on the title: an entire episode about assface Jerome proving why he totally deserves a sinner's sarcophagus.
When last we left our not-all-that-reluctant heroes, four of them were chilling at Sibuna HQ, watching the fifth trying to get herself killed sneaking around the Team Evil HQ because she just can't accept that she could share blood with evil. (FYI, KT, you get used to the idea eventually. It's no reflection on you.)
omg, Denby, those pants. No.
Ha, they all come running after KT to ask what she was thinking, why was she in the gate house, etc., and Alfie busts out with, "Why were you chilling with the zombies?!"
And then Sibuna all walk off with their arms around each other. Because it's cold, but still. Cuddle bug Sibunas. <3 ALSO. Eddie has his hand on KT's back, but he has his arm around Patricia to do it, and why can't they just reconcile? :( He'll drop the whole foot rub thing, Yakker, he promises, and even the penis thing is negotiable. (Fact: Back in late 2008 or early 2009, I had a guy ask me out and tell me that if his being a man was why I didn't want to date him, we could just skip past all that heterosexual sex stuff. I like to think Eddie would also make this sacrifice, if required.)
Frombie Zombie Smythe: "I have hardly left this awful house."
Denby: "'Awful'?" She looks genuinely hurt, lol.
Jerome, singing: "I can't help to be smitten / You're my love kitten."
Dude, this is going to humiliate him, but he has this coming.
Jerome in his cat costume. Jesus. He spins around and his tail does this thing.
p.s. Do you think that's Fabian's guitar?
Oh god, the girls passed out a spreadsheet about all of his flaws.
The song had some decent rhymes, at least.
"Love Kitten"
Baby, baby, you're a cat
But you've got to know you're more than that
You're the kibble to my tummy
The cream to my bowl
You're my little fuzzy honey
The meaning to my soul
I can't help but to be smitten
You're my one and only loooooooooove kitten
Ha, Joy standing behind Jerome mouthing along with Mara telling him that they're so over.
Eddie: "Stay here."
Patricia: "Really?"
Eddie: "If anything bad happens, I need someone outside I can trust. *touches her shoulder* Okay?"
She smiles.
jkasdjkas kiss him. :(
KT: "I know Denby would do this, but he's my great-grandfather. How could he do that to me?"
Because your family connection means absolutely nothing, you irrational twit!
Patricia: "Considering you're such a great friend of his, maybe you can find out how he feels about me?"
KT: "I thought you weren't into him?"
Patricia: "Well, I lied."
FUCKING FINALLY.
That's right, real Harriet, you defend yourself with that spoon. :'(
Oh no, Eddie, KT meant Patricia, not herself. :( And now Patricia's gonna think Eddie doesn't love her back oh no. And Trixie will be so sad because she put herself out there! Can't with the feelings.
So, evil Frobisher is going to torment Victor, and that makes me super sad because alive Frobisher was one of the few people to ever show him kindness.
KT wants Patricia to use Jerome to make Eddie jealous to get him back. jkasjdklas Patrome.
I just want everyone to know how much I enjoy the teen sitcom plots mixed in with the ancient conspiracies.
Mara: "Because, if you ignore the fact that you [Joy and Jerome] hate each other, you're actually perfect for each other."
Joy: *hits her* "Take that back! You're so mean."
Ha, KT says that it would be wrong to use a guy like this if he weren't a fuckface like Jerome.
KT didn't say fuckface, but I forget how she worded it. "The biggest rat in school." Close enough.
Patricia: "So, do you want to go out on a date with me or what?"
Jerome: "I'm going to have to go with 'or what.'"
Patricia: "Why?"
Jerome: "Because you're as rude as I am, and, while I have no proof, I'm pretty sure you're a witch." He doesn't blink during this line, fyi.
Patricia: "Wow! You're actually scared of me. Okay. Forget it. I don't want to go out with a wimp anyway."
Jerome: "Hang on! Hang on. Okay. Yeah. It's a date."
Patricia: "Great!"
Hahaha, his body language, he'd fall over if he leaned any farther away.
Okay, look. I want Patricia back with Eddie, and I assume that's inevitable from a storytelling endgame point of view, but I would also be 110% fine with Patricia and Jerome realizing they fucking belong together. Season one-point-five OT fucking P, etc., all my feels and hearts.
Frobie: "I see you crave recognition for your service."
Victor: "I think I have earned it."
Plus he's got massive daddy issues, Frobie, you better stroke his ego.
Oh no, Victor's sinner #1! :O He's the one being tagged for greed. Oh, holy shit, I seriously didn't see this coming. Now who's going to fix the broken plumbing at Anubis House? :(
Guys, I know I drop the f-bomb about twenty times per episode recap, but this show inspires so many feelings in me, I really can't help it.
p.s. Only eight episodes left this season. Maybe only eight episodes left ever. My heart can't take it.
