minttown1: (rvb | come in the night like a thief)
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I haven't done this in a while. Overemotional Red vs Blue liveblog. 11x08 "The Grass is Greener. The Blues are Bluer."

Caboose taught Freckles how to do squats! Because Wash makes the Blues work out all the time. (I wish Wash were my personal trainer.)

Simmons trying to be Good Cop to Grif's not-even-playing-this-game.

Simmons: "Sarge thinks you're up to something."
Tucker: "The only thing I've done today is exercise."
Grif: "You poor, tortured soul."
Simmons: "What are you training for?"
Tucker: "Fuck if I know! Every day it's the same thing. Wake up, run drills. Clean the base, run drills. Maintain order, run drills. I have glamorous calves and a miserable fucking life! Can we please stop running drills?"
Grif: "I had calves once. Way more tender than a regular cow. You can taste the youth."
Simmons, IN TOTAL FUCKING AWE: "Wash makes you clean the base?"

YESSSSSS SIMMONS DEFECT TO BLUE TEAM AND BE WITH WASH. PLEASE THIS IS ALL I WANT IN MY LIFE PLEASE GOD ADMIT HE'S PERFECT FOR YOU.

Tucker: "And our equipment and our vehicles. The guy's obsessed with rules and order."
Grif: "Ugh. Can you imagine having to deal with someone like that?"
Simmons, sounding like he's salivating and/or aroused: "Rules and order... Oh."
Tucker: "I know, right? He's even got an organizational chart."
Simmons gasps.
Grif: "What a loser."
Simmons clears throat. "Uh, yeah. That all sounds very interesting, Tucker, but I think I need to see this for myself."
Tucker: "What?"
Grif: "What?"
Simmons: "I just want to make sure his story checks out. Check out the base, stick around for a few days..."

Holy fucking shit.

Simmons: "Look, let me just hang out for a few days. I'll be cool, I swear."
Grif: "Don't lie to the man's face."
LOL, what an ass.

Simmons: "Well, Grif, I guess this is goodbye."
Grif: "Wait, how long were you planning on being gone?"
Simmons, pretending to sigh: "'Til the job's done, I guess."
Grif: "And you're sure you'd rather be near the Blues and their giant killer fucking robot instead of just coming back to base?"
Simmons: "Yes, I'm sure."

And then Grif tells Simmons to remember that if he gets cornered by the robot, stick it with a magnet, and Simmons says that computers haven't been affected by magnets since the twentieth century, and Grif tells him that that's exactly what they want you to think.

Simmons: "Finally, a place I can call home."
And a control freak to fuck your brains out? Yes please.

jkkksjakdjakljkeajkleajkl

new favorite episode

until next week, that is

assuming next week is even one-tenth of what i hope

(i will settle for amusing shenanigans since my otp will not actually be hooking up ever)

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